Stuck in Reset
by Gambeast
Summary: What if the events during Breaking Dawn had a different outcome for the Newlyweds? What if Bella still couldn't let go of Jacob?
1. Chapter 1: In Hell

Disclaimer - All Characters and Copyrights belong to Stephanie Meyers.

Author's note: What if the events during Breaking Dawn had a different outcome for the Newlyweds? What if Bella still couldn't let go of Jacob?

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**_EPOV_**

I am in hell.

For a 100 years, I have been stuck in a hell of my own making. I had trusted the visions of another, to guide me on my path with Bella. Alice had seemed so sure of our paths together. She had visions of Bella and myself running through the forest together as Vampires. But we both had misread the vision, and saw only what we both wanted to see. And as I replayed those images even now, as I have many times over the years, it was the finite details in the overall landscape that we both ignored. I stole her human heart, by hook or by crook, as the saying goes. I knew she had a better option than myself, but I had not found even half the joys in my own kind over the years, than I felt in just moments in her presence. We Vampires are such selfish creatures, and I refused to be unhappy anymore in my life, even at the cost of the happiness to another. Someone so beneath me, and definitely more unworthy of my beloved. Although, I knew he had a more binding claim than my own. I ignored his claim, and I never enlightened her to it either. If the fool was stupid enough to keep it to himself, who was I to make her aware of it. Of course I sometimes needed to dazzle her more often than not to keep her from enacting on those feelings. All seemed to work in my favor. We were married. She was reluctant at first. Those around us just thought it was cold feet, but I knew it was her feeling the pull towards that mutt. So, I dazzled her a little more until we were soon at the alter together. He tried one last attempt to get through to her, but before he could reveal the truth, he started to cause a scene, and his wolf brothers dragged him away. I whisked her away on our honeymoon. We tried to consummate our love and marriage, but everything we tried became too dangerous to complete with her being human. So, it was decided we would just proceed with our plans to turn her. All the plans we had in place were put into action. Charlie was informed of the accident that claimed our lives. A joint funeral was held. I was told that the Wolves and other Quileutes who attended the funeral peacefully. Although, they did glare at the family throughout the ceremony, especially Jacob Black. We were informed shortly after the service, that we had now violated the Treaty, and if we ever returned to this land, we would be destroyed. Charlie fell apart upon hearing of the death of his only daughter. The family moved away from Forks as quickly as possible.

Then the nightmare began. Bella was administered the venom into her system, and we waited. Of course Alice took this moment to play dress-me-up Bella. I noticed she was placed in the dress we had always seen in Alice's vision of Bella and myself running in the woods. I smiled at her knowingly, she smirked and left the room laughing her tinkling laugh. We didn't know that would be the last humor shared between us for quite a long time. It took five long and excruciating days. I was besides myself when she had not awoken on the third day, which was customary. Alice could not see anything to enlighten us on to when we could expect a change. When the fourth day passed, Carlisle began to research his texts for anything that might explain the issue. Then on the fifth day we heard it, the final thump of her heart. When she opened her eyes, we knew something was wrong. She stared at us all blankly, but it was the color of her eyes that confounded us. They were her normal brown eyes, with just a thin rim of red around the outside her Irises. In fact, if it weren't for our enhanced vision, we would have missed it. Her first words out of her mouth were, "Where's Jacob?" My heart crushed in my chest. She looked at us all with no recognition. Again she asked, "Where's Jake? Where am I? Was I in an accident? How did I get here?" She showed no signs of aggression that a typical newborn displays. I awkwardly stepped back, while Carlisle stepped forward. "Bella, do you not recognize us?" Bella shook her head, "No, should I?" Carlisle gave me a softened look, asking me in his head if I wanted to talk to her or let him continue. I motioned for him to continue. Carlisle sighed, unnecessarily, and spoke again, "My name is Carlisle Cullen, this is my family. My wife Esme, and our children Rose, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, and Edward, your husband. You are our daughter-in-law, Bella." Bella gasped, "I don't think so. Please I need to see Jake. He'll know what to do. He fixed me before." Carlisle jumped on her train of thought, "Yes, he did. To you remember WHY...he needed to fix you? What was he helping you get over?" I could tell where he was leading her. Perhaps we could re-jog her memory of us through the back door of her memories of that beast. Bella shrugged, but smiled, "Jake can fix anything. He's my best friend. Um...but I can't seem to remember what he fixed. I know it hurt me, but once we started being together, it got better. He keeps me together. So...is there a phone I could use to call him?" It was like she completely ignored the part of being married to me. I stepped forward, "Bella, my love, do you not remember me? We were married just a month ago. You were so excited to join our family, to be one of us." Bella just furrowed her eyebrows together, "I'm sorry, Edward is it? I don't remember any of that. The last thing I remember is being chased by Victoria. She was a Vam...um...she was this very stalkerish woman who was after me for some strange reason. Jake and his friends were able to get rid of her, and then...I'm sorry. But suddenly I'm feeling tired, do you mind if I close my eyes for a while?" Everyone stared at each other shocked. Carlisle stepped forward again, "Of course my dear, please feel free to rest. Just so you know, I am a doctor, so if you need anything please just shout out for me, and one of us will be right by your side." He smiled warmly at her, which she returned. "Thank you for the offer, but I just want to close my eyes for a bit," she stated. "Would you mind if I sit by you while you rest," I all but begged. Bella scrunched her face again, "While that is a lovely offer, I would rather be alone for a bit. If you don't mind. It's just this is all so overwhelming for me." I felt defeated, "Of course, my love, we will be down the hall when you wake up." It didn't miss my attention that she cringed when I called her my usual term of affection. We all quietly left the room. We went to the other side of the house to talk about what had happened. We had not even made it half way to our destination when we heard a loud noise from Bella's room. It was the sound of glass breaking. We rushed back to the room to investigate, but found no sign of her. "Damn our foolishness, we never should have trusted her calm demeanor. Hopefully we can find her, before she does any damage. We were so complacent and confused about how she was acting, we forgot to treat her like the newborn she is, instead of the human girl we knew." I raced out the window with my family behind me. We had to find her before she killed someone. Luckily we were far enough from the nearest town, expecting just this type of event to occur. I quickly caught up with her. She was fast with being a newborn, but I was still just as fast. As I raced to catch up to her, the imagery of what was occurring, was the same image I have seen before in Alice's vision. We were not some frolicking couple as the image always replayed for Alice and myself. No, we were caught in the scene of a kidnap victim fleeing from her abductor. The look in her face as she turned slightly in front of me was of fear and horror, and not of love and adoration. Alice was right alright we were both Vampires, but not a loving couple. I finally shouted to her, "Bella, please stop. There is no need to run. We only want what is best for you. Please just come back with me until we can figure out what is wrong with you." "No, please leave me alone. I just want Jake. I feel so cold, and scared. Only he can warm me up. Please I just want to go home." I hated to do it, but I leaped and tackled her. She struggled hard to escape, it was as if she was still not aware of what she was. It never even fazed her that we were running so fast. She still had not even mentioned being thirst, or the burning sensation in her throat. She just cried in my arms. Crying for Jacob Black to rescue her. The rest of my family finally caught up. They had witnessed her display live, and heard for whom she called for. They all looked at me with pity, even Rosalie looked disheartened. Her thoughts were not of sympathy for me though, it was for my wife cradled in my arms, mourning for another man.

We picked her up and brought her back to our home. We hoped she would settle down for us enough to explain some things she needed to know. That didn't happen. No, instead, everyday for the next two weeks we continued these repetitive tasks of trying to make her drop her defensive shield from us. To let us in. She just continued to refuse to engage us. What was even more shocking was her refusal to eat. We couldn't figure out what to make of this development. She should of been ravenous for blood, yet nothing. Esme even tried to place some human food in front of her, however, she refused that as well. And she slept almost as much as she was awake. Carlisle could find no other transformation similar to this one. When you talked to her, she never gave an indication that she was no longer human. She never even talked about her cold skin, or non-beating heart. Of course with her trying to escape everyday, it was hard to get her to open up. It was towards the end of the first two weeks, that we thought we had made a break thru. While she was napping, she whispered, "Edward, you need to get out of here before Charlie catches you." I was so ecstatic she finally was remembering me. The rest of the family heard her as well, and were so happy that we seemed to be making some progress. It seems like we were finally catching a break since her transformation. True it was not traditional in any way, but at least it was progress. But for every step forward we made, we were hit with a major setback. Since we knew she must be starving by now, and had expressed no normal desire for food or blood, we tried bringing the blood to her. Emmett had gone out and drained the blood from a bear. Esme had put the blood in a covered cup, and colored red straw. While Bella slept, Esme placed the cup in her room. We had actually installed a camera in her room to help us monitor her escape attempts. We saw as Bella stirred and looked around the room confused. She slowly got up and looked around the room finally settling on the dresser where Esme had placed the cup. We watched as she carefully approached the cup, and examined it. She picked it up and smelled it, then placed it down and walked away. She sat back on her bed, and continued to stare at the container. Chewing her thumb nail, she got back up, and walked back over to the dresser. I heard laughter in my head, followed then by the bellowing laugh of my ox for a brother Emmett. He chuckled, "Man even as a Vampire she's entertaining." Everyone joined him in the laughter, but no one thought about Bella's improved hearing. Her head snapped to the door, and I swore she then glared at were the camera was. She had heard what Emmett had called her. Understanding and confusion crossed her face at the same time. Her eyes darted to the window, and then back to the door, then back to the container. She picked it up and slowly drank from it. We all eased our stances a little. She seemed to finish the container, then gently placed it back on the dresser. She walked calmly towards her bed and laid down again. We all relaxed, she seemed to be heading back to bed oblivious to what Emmett divulged. Perhaps she didn't make the connection as it seemed. The next thing we knew, something knocked the signal off the camera. I sighed, and quickly dashed to Bella's room. There on the floor surrounding her hair brush, were pieces of the camera. Bella was nowhere to be seen. It was getting harder and harder to track her down from these escapes, for some reason she was able to hide her scent. We were only able to find her once she made a hard decision on her path, and Alice could then get a vision of where she was going. Today would be no different, except it was not her making a decision that allowed us to find her. The truth is we found her passed out not a mile from our home. We could not stir her from her sleep, so we returned home with her yet again. She awoke several hours later, and the first things she said to us was, "Where's Jake? Where am I? Was I in an accident? How did I get here?"

I sighed, "Bella we've explained this to you before, he's not here." Bella looked confused, "Who are you? Why am I here being held against my will? What do you want with me? Please just let me go home." I was starting to get frustrated. Carlisle apparently had a different thought. He calmly asked, "Bella, my name is Dr. Carlisle Cullen, and this is my family. Do you remember ever meeting us before? What can you tell us about the last thing you remember?" Bella looked panicked again, "No, I'm afraid I don't know any of you. To answer your other question, the last thing I remember is being chased by Victoria. She was a Vam...um...she was this very stalkerish woman who was after me for some strange reason. Jake and his friends were able to get rid of her, and then...I'm sorry. But suddenly I'm feeling tired, do you mind if I close my eyes again for a while?" Carlisle told her it was perfectly alright for her to rest, and we would be outside if needed. Jasper had already replaced the camera in her room. We all gathered once again perplexed by this latest development. Emmett stated, "It's as if someone hit the reset button on her. It's as she's back to factory settings, like a new cell phone. How could of this have happened? I smelt no one else if the area, did any of you?" Everyone shook their heads in agreement. I asked Carlisle, "I know amnesia works on people different ways, but this seems ridiculous. Do you think she is faking it? Don't get me wrong, I have not been happy about any of this since her transformation, but this seems almost to comical. Please tell me I am wrong or being paranoid here. I need some answers Carlisle." My father looked me in the eye and replied, "Edward I have absolutely no answers for you. Nothing about this transformation has been close to typical as you know. The nearest example we might reference is Alice, who has absolutely to human memories after her transformation. But we know that was as a result of being in a sensory deprived environment before she was changed. Bella had none of this happen to her. You were both naturally in love with each other. She might of had some feelings for Jacob Black, but hardly anything to explain her severe attachment to him, and total lack of memory of you or the rest of the family. I mean she was your mate correct? Both you and Alice assured us of this. Hence why we broke our Treaty with the wolves to turn her." Alice spoke up right away, "Carlisle I can only tell you what I saw. And that was that Bella Swan would become a Vampire. I didn't make that up." "I agree with Alice, Carlisle. I have always felt the pull to her as my singer. You confirmed that's why I was so drawn to her," I added in. Although he was just speculating at the time it's meaning, as he himself had never met his singer. Only Emmett had ever met his, however, he had met two people who were his singers. If that was true, then there was no way, that he could of had more than two possible mates, for at the time he already had Rosalie. I brushed these thoughts out of his head, I didn't need to feel guilty over my choices, she was still mine. Carlisle resumed, "I just don't know then Edward, the only thing that has changed over the last two weeks was we finally got her to take in some sustenances. I know she used to have an aversion to blood, that it would make her faint. Maybe that is a factor in this all?" "Perhaps the blood was tainted some how," Esme mused. No one had a better explanation. So we were forced to put up with a repeat of the last few weeks with Bella. And once again when we finally got her broken down enough to finally drink the blood, she again passed out. Once again, when she awoke, the first things she said to us was, "Where's Jake? Where am I? Was I in an accident? How did I get here?"

Once we had calmed her down again, we left her to the camera to monitor her. "I don't know how much longer I can stand of this Edward," Rosalie said as she threw her arms up in the arm. "Nothing about this has been normal, and I don't think anything logical could ever explain this. Since that girl has walked into our lives, it is as if we've been cursed. I knew she couldn't have been right in the mind to ever want this life, but this just confirms everything to me. This is no life for her, or for us. The kindest thing we could do is to end her ourselves." Everyone gasped at Rosalie. I snarled and leapt from my chair ready to attack, except my brothers held me down. "Edward she is afraid of us, and doesn't trust us. We can't contain her 24/7. We weren't living before, and now our miserable lives will become even more sad. Eternally stuck to watch her continuously stuck in "Reset" mode. Please what would you have us do?" I calmed down, but had no real answer for her.

And so for the last 100 years, we have been stuck replaying the same scenario over and over again. Every time she drinks blood, her mind shuts down, and she forgets anything that has occurred between the last instance. Sometime the periods last longer if we deprive her of sustenances. We even see some slight recognition, but then we are forced to provide her animal blood. She wouldn't even touch the human kind. And no matter what animal we tried - reset. We have tried everything, and nothing seems to help my Bella get any better. We had exhausted all avenues that were open to us. Well as open as they could be to creatures of the Supernatural world. We became so desperate we even went to the Volturi for help. However, none of them had ever seen anything like this as well. Aro was so desperate to make her one of us at one time. He coveted her power even as a human. Bella had power all right. Shortly after she was changed, we soon discovered the reason why no one could reach her mind. We had brought her to stay with our family in Denali, and it was there that Eleazar had sensed that she was a shield of the mind, but also a shield of the physical world as well. It would explain why we had such issues with her up until now. Over the years, those powers began to grow. We however, did not know how she controlled them. The Volturi too had even offered to destroy her for us, if we did not have the stomach for it. Aro had given up his attempts to acquire my love. She couldn't be controlled enough for him to make it worth his time. Her abilities prevented anyone from being able to stop or cure her, or for that matter, destroy her. Her mind shield prevented anyone from breaching her mind, and her physical shield stopped anyone from destroying her physically. As long as we kept her contained, we would not be punished in her stead. We left Volterra defeated. Of course I brought her into this world, and I still love her, so I have remained by her side even when she does not recognize me. She is only ever focused on two things, escape and getting back to him.

I am in hell, and I know I deserve it.


	2. Chapter 2: I'm trapped

Disclaimer - All Characters and Copyrights belong to Stephanie Meyers.

Author's note: Thanks for everyone kind enough to leave a review. It's nice to get feedback from what you're writing, and I truly appreciate it.

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Chapter 2: I'm trapped.

**_BPOV_**

I'm trapped.

At least that's the way it feels. I'm not sure how I got here. I can't remember much of my past lately. I know I miss my father, and my mother. I definitely miss Jake. Every time I ask for them they look at me sadly. I apparently was in some kind of accident, but they refuse to give me any of the details. These people, these Cullens as they call themselves tell me "THEY" are my family now. The one called, Edward, claims that he is my husband. MY HUSBAND! Is he kidding me, I never wanted to be married this young. My parents would of killed me, number one. And two, I don't care who you are, I wasn't going to be Miss Pregnant Teenage Bride of America for anyone, especially this Edward clown. He seems so clingy, and doesn't let me out of his sight. In fact, they all kind of freak me out if I am being completely honest. They are just so creepy. They watch my every move. I tried to escape this place to get to a phone to call Jake or even Charlie, but I mustn't have gotten very far, cause they caught me right away. Still the same old clumsy Bella Swan, or Cullen, if I am to believe them. I'm just so tired all the time, and they keep asking me if I am upset. Yes, I am upset. I have no clue who you are. Or why you won't let me reach out to anyone. Then they keep hovering asking about my "thirst", or if I am hungry. I don't know, maybe they don't want a malnourished hostage or kidnapped victim. Oddly enough I don't have an appetite for anything right now. Must be my nerves. If I am not laying down, then I sit on my bed curled up with my arms pulling my knees pressed tightly to my chest. I sit here contemplating my next step to get out of here. I just I wish I could remember how I got here.

**_Several Months Ago_**

I can't believe I agreed to all this stuff. The wedding plans were getting out of hand. I couldn't think straight lately, well in fact, ever since I rescued Edward from Italy. I still couldn't believe how selfish he was for doing that. Well I guess I could. I had been selfishly using my best friend as well. It was days like these I longed for the warm embrace of my Jacob. However, I screwed that up too. I knew he loved me deeply, and if I was being truthful, I knew my love for him was growing as well. In fact, if Edward had never came back, I could easily see myself on First Beach right now in the embrace of Jake, sitting around a Bonfire with the rest of the Pack. But that all ended on my own doing, when I first went after Edward, and then again when once his family returned. I forgave them so easily for the torment they but me through, and welcomed them back with open arms. In doing so, I threw everything that Jake and the Pack did for me right back in their faces. "Thanks a lot for putting me back together, but so long suckers, my real family is back." I couldn't look at myself some days when these thoughts overwhelmed me. They put their lives on the line to keep me alive, and I in the end was choosing to throw my living being away to become a Vampire. The cherry of the top of this colossal mess, was I knowing my love for Jake had grown, and told him it still wasn't enough. He could never be enough to beat Edward, the man who broke me in their eyes. What did that say about me to them? However, it was times like these when I had a moment to myself, that I could examine my thoughts. It seems every time that I questioned my love for Edward, something would happen and I would loose my focus. Like he would just show up out of the blue, and cloud my judgement. I know the Volturi are out there waiting for my change, but every Cullen agrees it might never be in my normal lifetime before they ever check on me. Should I wait? I mean could marrying Edward now be a mistake? Especially with my concerns deep inside of me about my growing love for Jake. I wish he where here now, instead of having run off, if we could just talk by ourselves, I might be able to resolve some of these doubts with him. Cause maybe the love I have with Edward is not as strong as my love for Jake. Maybe... "Bella my love", I heard Edward's velvety voice say aloud. I turned to my window, and saw my fiancé sitting on the ledge looking as handsome and godlike as always. He quickly rushed to my side and pulled me into his embrace. I could smell his sweet fragrance. It was overpowering, and soon had me swooning. I tried to focus and remember what I was thinking about, before he had appeared, but he didn't give me a chance to recover. "My lovely Bella, you look so tired. I know you are probably nervous with our upcoming vows, would you like me to keep you company while you go to bed?" I tried to focus, but gave up. "Yeah, just let me change quickly before I go to sleep." "As you wish my dear. I will be waiting patiently for you to return my love," he spoke lovingly to me. Then he gave me that smirk that always seems to dazzle me. When I returned to my room, after I changed, he was already waiting in my bed for me. I crawled into bed, with my extra comforters, and was soon out.

The next thing I knew, I was dreaming. I was walking in the woods. I came upon a fork in the road. I noticed that the rode to the left was filled with snow and ice. While the road to the right was filled with the smell of the ocean on a warm sunny day. I could feel the heat and comfort coming from this road, and was so drawn to it. However at that moment the road to the left had a sign in front of it. The sign pointed out all the fun and exciting things you could find if you took that path. The sign promised eternal happiness. I looked back to the path on the right. I only saw that the path was plain, and yet still so inviting. However, I noticed that the light shining on that path was so bright, and I swear I could see the ocean. Just at the edge of the shoreline, I could see a man playing with his two children. A little boy and a little girl. The family even from here was gorgeous. I began to step forward, when a sound to the left caught my attention. There on that path was Edward, he smiled at me, and held out his hand. I turned back to the other path, and I could see that the little family was now looking my way as if they were just waiting for me to join them. But they never made a move to join me. They wanted me to make the decision to join them. And just as I contemplated doing that, Edward spoke, "Bella, my love. If you come with me, then all your dreams will come true. We will live together for the rest of our immortal lives." I looked at him, but glanced back to the other road. The family still had not said anything to me or tried to influence my decisions. Before I had a moment to reach a decision, I felt a cold hand grab me wrist, and I so wanted to rip myself away. I turned, and saw that it was Alice. Before I could speak she said, "Come Bella, you don't have a choice. You know what I saw, you will follow this path, for that road is not an option for you." I turned as I was being pulled along, and saw the disappointment on the family's faces, as they turned. First the little boy disappeared, then the little girl, and my heart sank as the man dropped to his knees crying, and mourning the loss of his family, and I mourned for our loss too. As I was finally on the path of ice and snow, Alice and Edward walked ahead of me ignoring me completely. It was as if as soon as my choices were gone they lost interest. I spotted something following me. It was a creature and I could tell it was trying to stay down wind of the Cullen siblings. Alward didn't even notice. I laughed to myself when Jake gave them that nickname. It was after I explained to him one afternoon how Edward and Alice always seems to be in league with each other. Which is why it was always so difficult to get to see him sometimes, because they tagged team to keep me away. He snorted and replied, "With as close as they are, are you sure they aren't really mates. I can just see the leech world calling them the latest celebrity hookup. Look this way Alward! Look this way." He had mocked a paparazzi pose. I had chuckled, "Are you sure is shouldn't be something like "Edice"?" "Nah, no pizazz there Bella. Definitely Alward."

I returned my gaze to the creature that was following us. I felt no fear for the creature. I'm not sure how I knew, but I felt like I was safe. Finally, I noticed that the siblings had disappeared, and I was thankful. I stopped and waited for the creature to appear. When he did, he was clearly a giant wolf, but none I had ever seen before. The wolf approached me, but never made the attempt to phase back to his human self. I noticed the wolf seemed old, and frail. "Can I help you?," I asked the wolf. "Why?," the wolf asked. "I'm sorry I don't understand your question. I mean, I know you must be a Quileute descendant. Who are you? And what do you mean by 'Why'," I asked back. The wolf gazed deep into my eyes, and at that moment I knew I was not looking at a descendant of the Quileute wolves, I was talking to the original Quileute wolf, Taha Aki. As if he knew I recognized him, he asked again, "Why did you choose this path, and not the other?" I felt tears in my eyes as I tried to respond, "I wanted to choose the other path, but then it seemed like the other path wanted me more. It put up the signs telling me about the attractions to be found here, and then Edward and Alice showed up and seemed to want me more than those on the other path. I wanted to go, but then they started pulling me to go with them." Taha Aki frowned, and spoke again, "In spite of the distractions and dazzling effects that this path displayed to you to take you off your rightful path, what was your heart telling you?" I looked away ashamed, but replied, "My heart was telling me to ignore everything over here, and run down the path to Jacob." I gasped as I realized that it was Jake I had left behind there. I knew deep down that despite the features not being clear enough, that it was Jake, and once again I failed him. "Why, but why didn't he say anything? Why didn't he attempt to sway me the way they did?" Taha Aki's shoulders slumped, making him seem even more frail then he was. He stated, "You still do not see his love for you, even now. He would never force you to do what you do not choose yourself to do. Despite the magic that already has joined you, he would never force you to love him, if you did not choose it on your own. He would never lie, or use other methods of persuasion or manipulation to choose him. Even now he waits for you to come to him, and love him freely. For you are his...". Taha Aki never finished his last statement as both Edward and Alice had tackled him, and broke his frail neck. I screamed as they drank his blood. I bolted up in my bed to find Edward trying to comfort me. Luckily Charlie had the night shift that evening. I was finally able to return to sleep with Edward whispering words of comfort to me all night. When I awoke, I tried to remember my dream, but could not. It felt like it was something important, but with Edward there I couldn't think clearly enough to remember.

The wedding eventually happed, and I was happy, I think. Jake had shown up, for which I was truly happy and delighted. I felt like we had so much to talk about. Edward for some reason was reluctant to let us spend anytime together. I eventually forced him to leave us alone. My joy at seeing Jake awoke a thousand emotions in me, and I felt that cringe of doubt creeping back in my mind. However, our joyous reunion was cut short, when Jake got angry with something I had let slip. The next thing I knew, I was watching him be dragged away, and me left crying in Edward's arms. The wrong arms that I needed. Arms that were too cold and stiff at the moment. I seemed to crave the warm and muscular arms of my best friend. Regardless we were soon on our honeymoon. It became evident early, that despite all our preparations that Edward was too weak to fulfill his part of this marriage arrangement. We would not be consummating this marriage anytime while I was human. I began to think that his was Fate's way of sending me a signal that maybe, just maybe, this wasn't meant to be. Before I had a chance to discuss this with Edward, he received a call from Alice. The next thing I knew we were going to fly to Alaska to complete my transformation there. Alice had seen the Volturi coming to check on my status. I felt trapped, I couldn't believe my choices were being taking away from me again. I had this nagging feeling in my head that I had felt this way before.

The Cullens launched our death story to my parents. I cried when I heard about Charlie's reaction at the funeral, and also the warnings from the Pack. What had I done? Forks would never again be my home, and I could never return even to check up on Charlie. I would be killed on sight by the Pack. The Cullens could tell I was depressed about this. Edward tried reason, and to make me see that I knew what needed to be done when I chose this life. In the back of my mind, it kept screaming to me, they chose this for you. You let them lead you to this. You wanted to choose something else, another path. It was as the Venom was injected into my system that I finally remembered my dream. I screamed no please stop. Get it out. Get it out, I choose Jacob. But no one could hear my screams. I was paralyzed from the Morphine Carlisle had injected into my system. So as I sat here burning on the inside, my only thoughts were of Jacob and those two children on the beach. How I longed to be there. I tried to shield myself from the fact I was turning into a leech, the number one enemy of my Jacob. I tried to shield away my humanity, to protect it from my transformation. To hold onto any possible parts of me that had made me Bella Swan, human. I blocked out all the conversations from the Cullens occurring around me. Somehow, I felt manipulated by them. I don't know why, but I just had this fear, that they were holding out the truth from me. At least, I felt that way about the usual suspects, Alward. I forced my heart to keep beating, trying to shield my heart from the last part of the Venom that would kill me off. It felt like I was fighting forever. All that gave me strength was thinking about Jake. My mind kept looping back to my dream about Taha Aki. He had tried to say something to me before Alward killed him. He had said that I was Jake's something. What could of it had been that he was trying to tell me. I thought about his entire conversation to me in that dream. He kept talking about choices. How Jake would never force a choice on me. I tried to recall all my conversations with Jake. I tried to recall any conversations we had about choices being taken away. I knew he felt that the whole wolfing out thing upset him, cause it took away his choices on being more than just a protector of La Push. Oh my god, the other thing Jake felt severe dislike for because he didn't like the idea of being force to...and then because I had become distracted with these memories and emotions, I took my eye off the ball, and I felt my last heartbeat. Then I was gone.

**_Back to the Present_**

Escape attempt number 12 failed. God, this is getting so frustrating. I'm not sure how they always catch me but they do. No matter how much of a head start I get, soon after they cut me off. Despite being stalking, weirdo kidnappers, they seem to be nice. I even think I may beginning to remember them, or else the fact they surround me 24/7, I may just becoming familiar with them. What is that called again when a victim relates to their abductor? Oh yeah, maybe I am just suffering from Stockholm syndrome, I laughed to myself. I decided to go to bed. I was soon dreaming. I was in my room in Forks doing my nightly bedtime tasks. I was upset, he had interrupted my time with Jacob. He threw another hissy fit about me spending so much time with those "dangerous beasts." Reluctantly I told Jake I better head home. Of course Jake was disappointed, but let me go, telling me he loved me, as usual. I smiled when I remembered I told him I loved him too, but we knew the deal. Then he appeared in my window breaking me out of my thoughts. I yelled at him, "Edward, you need to get out of here before Charlie catches you!" I was soon awoken from this disturbing dream by a weird smell. I had noticed recently that I could smell things more strongly than I used to. I also noticed my vision and hearing had gotten better, too better if you asked me. I found these changes disturbing. I didn't care for them. For one, it was odd to be able to tell which Cullen was about to enter my room by their smell alone. Or hear a conversation happening down the hall. Or seeing how perfectly imperfect the appearance of each Cullen was. Quite frankly, I had refused all of Alice's attempts to make me dress up or look in the mirror. I was afraid deep at the back of my mind that somehow I would look like them with their creepy same color eye thing they all have going. Soon my mind was brought back to that weird smell. I got out of my bed, and walked around. The smell seems to have originated from my bedroom door. I soon traced the smell across the room to my dresser. Sitting on the top was a covered container. As I got closer, the smell was become more prominent. It was a bit repulsive, but yet at the same time, compelling. I stared at it a while, then returned to my bed. I sat there in bed contemplating what it could be. My stomach rumbled a little. I guess after two weeks of being on a hunger strike, whatever was in that cup was calling to me. I got up carefully again and slowly walked to the dresser, but this time I picked up the cup. Then I heard the chuckling of the big oaf, Emmett, I think he's called. Then, I was shocked when I thought I heard, "Man even as a Vampire she's entertaining." My head snapped to the camera I knew they had planted in my room, and I glared at it. I couldn't of heard what I thought I did, did I. My eyes shifted from the door to the window, back to the cup. These people must be some kind of cultist or something, and I really needed to get to Jake soon. I palmed my hairbrush in my pocket from the dresser, and then picked up the cup. I closed my eyes and downed the drink. It seems to soothe my rumbling stomach, but it made me feel queasy. I prayed they didn't poison or drug the beverage. As I wiped my mouth, I noticed the red liquid on my hand. Oh my god, I wanted to vomit. I slowly recognized this as blood. I felt sick that I even was slightly tempted by this stuff, but even more angry that these sick bastards who had been playing house with me were dragging me into their little Satanic rituals. I sat down on my bed, and when I heard them talking cheerfully in the other room, I made my move. I used the hairbrush to take out the camera. I didn't know I had the arm on me to do that, but I was running on instinct. I quickly smashed the bedroom window, and raced out of there. However, unlike my other attempts, I could myself becoming tired all of a sudden. The initial adrenaline high I had a few moments ago was waning quickly. The next thing I knew I was falling down. Those assholes must have drugged that drink. "I love you Jake, and will get back to you soon," was my last thought as I slipped into oblivion.

I am trapped. That was what I felt after I found myself being in the company of Dr. Cullen and his family. My first words to them when I awoke in this strange place was, "Where's Jake? Where am I? Was I in an accident? How did I get here?" They tried to explain who they were in my lives, but I could not force myself to care enough to get to know them. Something told me they were not where I belonged, and I had to get to my true home quickly. Everyday seemed like a new and failed attempt to escape. I felt like I was being held in an Insane asylum, and the Cullen's were my guards. I did feel bad for them. Either I was the worst wife in the world pining after another man daily, or these psychos kidnapped me. They seemed friendly enough, but again their company is not who I longed for. It continued this way for weeks, and then one morning I smelt something weird in my room. When I got up to investigate it, I was turned off by the smell, and yet somehow longed for it. I finally bit the bullet, and drank it. I soon found myself being dragged into a deep sleep.

I feel trapped. I stared at the words in the journal in my hands. It clearly was written in my handwriting, so even though I had no memory of writing it, the proof was in the pudding as they say. It accurately reflected the feelings I had right now even as I was reading these words. If I am to believe the writing in this journal, the book was given to me by the Doctor, I think he said his name was Carlisle. In the journal, I wrote, "Carlisle believes that maybe if I write down my thoughts and feelings each time I come out of an episode, I might help recover my memory eventually." Apparently I suffered from Amnesia. However, as I flipped though these books reading at a remarkable speed, I quickly became depressed. If I am to believe my own writings, and the latest piece of the puzzle I was just handed. I am over a hundred years old, and a Vampire. Oh my god Jake, what did I do? How could I ever had left you and Charlie for this life? I solemnly read through each journal. In each one, I am fascinated to learn that I have powers that kind of make me indestructible. I at one time was taken to the Vampire rulers, the Volturi, to see if they could help my condition. I soon found out that despite them craving my abilities, my condition, which they deemed incurable, left me as an undesirable entity in their eyes. They wished us luck, and kicked us curbside. However, now that I know that Jake and everyone I hold dear is gone, I don't know if I could continue to live this life, the way I have. When I ask if there is any journals before I was transformed, I learn there are none. Oh, how I wish to know what was going on in my mind before this happened. I decide then and there I would find a way to kill myself. So for the next two weeks I attempt to escape and end my life. Growing tired of my antics, the Cullens soon force me drink a cup of blood, and I soon find myself slipping to oblivion.

I've been here for several weeks now. I have begged daily to be allowed to speak to Jake or my father. Everyday I am denied. Each day the Cullens attempt to remind me I am there daughter, sister, wife. I can find no world worth living in where I would have left Jake behind.

I am trapped.


	3. Chapter 3: Abandoned and Alone

Disclaimer - All Characters and Copyrights belong to Stephanie Meyers.

Author's note: Thanks for anyone who is reading this story. I was going to make this story continue for a couple of more chapters, however, I have been getting little no feedback on this story, so I will just end it with this chapter. I wanted to at least complete the trilogy of views.

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Chapter 3: Abandoned and Alone

**_JPOV_**

Abandoned and Alone.

I don't know who in life up above I have offended, but I'm sorry. " . .SORRY", I shouted to no one in particular. It had been a while since I had left all that I knew in this life. I've mostly stayed in wolf form, but sometimes I had to get out of my head, without the occasional snide remark from a fellow Pack member. I grew sick of their constant attempts to get me to return home. How could I return to the place that now held so many bad memories. I finally got it. I finally understood how my sisters were able to just walk away from me and my father without looking back. Sometimes it's just too painful to deal with the memories. It didn't help alleviate my guilt for running out on my father though. However, I knew the Pack was chipping in to replace me for now. They all hoped I would be back soon. I just wished if I knew the same. My father understood my grief. He too had lost his soulmate. True, she wasn't dead yet. However, that would soon change. It seems that I am destined to be alone. Through tragedy or by choice, I had been abandoned by all the people who were supposed to love me most.

My mother lost her young life when I was but a small child. I have very vivid memories with her. I knew I was the apple of her eye, and she was my everything. My everything until Bella came along, or perhaps it was at the same time. For it seems the moment Bella Swan entered my life, I would always be the sad little puppy following her around, just craving her attention and recognition. My parents recognized our bond even at an early age. If Bella was crying, I would always do whatever I could to console her and try to make her feel better. My mom used to call me Bella's little protector. She would say that her and Bella were very lucky girls to have such a grown up man to keep them safe. I would then flash her my big smile, and she would hug and tickle me. Blowing little raspberries on my stomach to get me to giggle. Dad and Charlie would always laugh when they saw me and Bells together. They used to say that they couldn't wait to get the invitation to our wedding, and Charlie would chime in, "but not until she's 30." But then Bella would have to return to her mom's house, and I would become very withdrawn for a while. My mom would find me wherever I was hiding, and bring me some fresh bake cookies. She would crawl next to me, and pull me into her lap. She would give me a cookie, and then hum to me until I would stop crying. She would wait until my crying had slowed, and she would tell me, "You know my Jacob, the spirits give us these tests and challenges to help us remember to be thankful for all the love we have around us. They need us to face the challenges so we appreciate all the blessings in our lives. Now, you won't have Bella around for a while, but you know what? (I would shake me head no). The next time you see her you will remember how sad you were, but be as grateful for the fact she had returned to you. And you will be so happy at that time, that you will forget you were ever sad to begin with." Then she would hug me closer, and kiss me all over my face until I gave her, their smile. The smile I only ever seemed to give to them. The smile as bright as the sun. Then one day, my mom wasn't there to comfort me. I had no one there to remind me to be brave during these life moments, for my mom had died in a stupid accident. I couldn't understand why. Why me? I tried to look on the bright side, I still had Bella. I still had my sisters, and my dad. Heck I even still had Charlie who stepped in when my dad fell apart, and helped care for us and loved us.

However, if I thought I knew what loss meant now, I was sadly mistaken. Just as my dad was starting to get back on his feet from his grief from losing my mom, we suffered another set back. My father had become ill from struggling with Diabetes, and soon loss the use of his legs. He tried to stay upbeat about it. He tried to roll with the punches. We were just getting our heads around dealing with this issue, when the twins left. They left and they stayed gone. The abandoned us to fend for ourselves. They claimed they couldn't deal with our mother's loss any further, and they certainly did not want to be stuck taking care of our invalid father. So Rebecca hitchhiked to California. She said she needed some time to get her head together to find out who she was. Well be quickly discovered her true nature, when we received word shortly after she had going on this journey of self discovery, that she had met and eloped with the love of her life, a surfer she met in California. He was there on a surfing tour, and when it was over they would be heading back to his life and home in Hawaii. We were shocked and dismayed that she had left us so indifferently, and would never return home. Not wanting to be left carrying the torch herself, Rachel decided to leave to attend college out of state. She claimed she would be back home for the holidays, but she never could seem to find the time to fit it into her schedule. You know it's hard with all that heavy school course load, and then trying to work a job in all her remaining available free time to afford her schooling and her apartment. The phrase I'll be home soon, quickly became never. So, for the third time in my young childhood, I was abandoned by an important Black woman in my life. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders, but I never let the world see past my photograph smile.

I had my dad, friends, and Charlie, but I never found interest in trying to find another replacement nurturer in my life. The closest I had was Sue Clearwater, who attempted to fill that role, and I was grateful for her, but I refused to open up the possibility of that pain again. At least that was the plan, until she came back into my life. I knew it was too good to be true. Charlie had informed me that my Bella was on her way back to stay with him for a while on a more permanent basis. His ex had remarried and Bella was taking this time to reconnect with him. My heart grew with anticipation when I heard this. He was even buying my dad's old truck, and asked if I could help put it back together. I knew I was slightly younger than her, but I hoped if I could impress her with my mad mechanic skills, that maybe she would welcome me back into her life. So I busted my ass getting that thing back in fine tuned condition. I put every non-school moment fixing that truck up. Then came the day of the big reveal, and I drove it over with my dad. When she came outside after her dad called her she had a skeptical look on her face. I could see she had no recognition of who we were, but that's ok, she was still so beautiful to me. Charlie did the introductions, and some recognition crossed her face. However, I knew she was more ecstatic about the truck then meeting us. While a little disappointing to say the least, I ignored her brush off, and excitedly gave her a rundown on the truck. My hopes were raised when she learned I was not going to be at the same school as her, and seemed sad about it. She promised she would visit the next time Charlie came down to see my dad. I should of learned my lesson then, but my love for her always put blinders on me, making me ignore the obvious facts, she never meant it. No, she never did come on any visits. The next time I saw here was on La Push beach with her friends. She seemed thankful for the interference I provided against the boys in her group. Seems I was not the only one with a crush on Bella. When Bella flirted with me to fleece some information about the Cullens, I fell for it hook, line and sinker. That was the last time I heard from her for the remainder of the school year. Stupid idiot that I was still held my hopes out that she would enter my world full time. The next time, she reappeared into my life was after we had learn she had run back home to Phoenix, and somehow got hurt down there. When she got back, my dad bribed me to crash her Junior Prom. If it weren't the fact that I needed the money, and I was an idiot, I would've just ignored the whole thing. But once again the little boy who felt abandoned popped his stupid head out. So I found myself talking to Bella while we awkwardly danced with her boyfriend glaring at me the whole time, I delivered my message, and then handed my heart back to the creep to crush as he flaunted his influence over her. I looked back as I left the facility, and she hadn't even given me a second thought. So, the small lonely boy crawled back to his hole, and cried while he hid his heart away from the world yet again. That was it, I would not allow Bella Swan to haunt be anymore. No I would not, well at least until the next time she went missing.

Charlie called in a huff, Bella was gone again. She had left a note that she was taking a walk in the woods, but she never returned. He had also learned that the Cullens left town. While I was happy that the creep was gone, now my Bells had disappeared. Did they take her? What happened? I began to panic. We broke off into search parties, and I noticed the shirtless wonders of Sam Uley, Jared Cameron, and Paul Lahote made up a search party as well. "Oh great, the hall monitors of La Push," I thought to myself. And wouldn't you know it they weren't the ones that found her. But what they brought out of the woods that day, was not my Bella. This girl in Sam Uley's arms was a crushed girl, someone who looked like they gave up on life. She looked like a shell of a girl I had seen at that dance, or flirted with me on the shores of La Push. I tried to visit her a couple of times, but she never acknowledged me or talked. Charlie was becoming desperate, and was thinking of shipping her back to her mother's. I had overheard this heartbreaking confession one day when he visited us. I was preparing my heart again to be abandoned, when who do you think pulled into my driveway a few days later, but Bella. I cautiously approached her as she tried to present me some garbage, in the form of a couple of broken bikes. I really didn't care though. She was there with me at the moment, and that's all that mattered to me. Was she using me? Yeah, so who cares. Did she love me like I loved her? No, so who cares? Would she be invested in our friendship as much as I was with her? No, so who cares. All that mattered was that she was here. We spent all our free time together. Each day I saw the return of the girl I loved so much coming back to the surface. Her personality was getting stronger each day, and she gave at out as much as she got against my friends. Life seemed so good. Sure she had moments of depression when she allowed her thoughts on the Cullens to surface. She was like a crack addict trying to clean herself up. At times she was very strong, and other times she was fighting the high withdrawal. I stuck by her side throughout it all.

Then it was the night of that movie date with the moron from town, Mike Newton. It was the night that would change everything. I couldn't help if I somehow always needed to touch Bella in someway, but it had always been that way since we were kids. She of course felt I was pushing the boundaries of our friendship. I assured her I knew where those borders were, and wasn't trying to push her into something she wasn't ready for, but I would not apologize for how I felt. We dropped the Marshmallow at his house, then I took her home. When we went to say goodbye she noticed I was feeling hot, and she told me to let her know when I got home. Unfortunately, when I got home I had an unwanted welcoming home ceremony that ended with me wolfing out. I soon learned about my obligation to the tribe, and the demands that bounded me with staying away from Bella. I felt trapped. As if I did not have enough crap piled on me, I had this latest insult to injury. I was pissed at everyone. Billy for taking away one more freedom from me and saddling yet another responsibility on me. I was pissed at Sam and the Pack for stalking me and pushing these changes along. I was pissed at Bella for being yet again another disappointing woman figure in my life who let me down. She not only knew about Vampires, but she consorted and dated one. She had kicked me curbside for death. And only when the parasite family dumped her the way she dumped me many times before, was I good enough to welcome back into her life. Her living crutch. Her stupid and naive best friend. God was I a freaking idiot or what? I was told I had to stay away from Bella for her own safety, or else she could be the next Emily. Screw me over and bury me already. How much heartbreak could I handle. The only person I knew who could of known of what I was going through or felt anything like I felt right now, was poor Leah Clearwater. She was a victim of this thing us Wolves do called imprinting. She knew what it felt like to have the person you thought was your soulmate ripped out from under you. For her it was Sam Uley, her former fiancée. Sam who dumped her like yesterday's trash, when he imprinted on Emily Young, Leah's cousin and best friend. What I never understood was why Emily, who was a lovely woman, would hurt her cousin that way. After all from what I understood, the imprinted Wolf becomes whatever their Imprintee needs. They could be a brother, friend, father figure, or lover, but it was not demanded that they become the last category. Whatever the case, I had prayed that it would not happen to me. I loved Bella despite my anger at her for the moment, and I would hate for my choices to be taken away from me to love some other stranger.

So throughout my training, I was ordered to ignore Bella. She, however, was not quite ready to be ignored. She called constantly, and demanded updates from Billy. If I was completely honest, some deeper part of me, craved her as well. I didn't understand it at the time, but I would shortly there after. It was a normal day on patrol, but we came across this sickening sweet smell mixed with cleaning solution and topped off with wilting flowers. It was like a funeral home threw-up in front of me. We traced the smell to a small clearing where we saw Bella and a Vampire conversing. Sam had ordered us to stand down, as we didn't know if this ass hat was connected with the Cullens. I can't say how I knew, but I could feel the fear coming off Bella, and I wanted to error on the side of caution and rip this leech to pieces first and ask questions later. Sam ordered me to hold. Every muscle in my body was screaming to attack, as I could sense Bella beginning to fall apart. Finally, Sam decided we had seen enough, and ordered us to attack the dreadlock headed Vamp. The rest of the Pack tore off, and I only took a moment to ensure Bella was fine. When I looked her over I could see that she was not damaged in any way. She seemed more afraid of us, then the creature that had been trying to kill her moments before. I was about to join my brothers, when I looked her in the eyes. I felt kind of strange, but I still could see the fear in her eyes, and decided to join the others before she freaked out any further. Eventually, Bella discovered what we were, and she accepted it. We found out that her life was in danger from the red headed Vampire that had been playing games with us. With this new knowledge, the hunt began to kill this leech and protect Bella. I loved the fact we were together again, but I knew Bella was not ready for a relationship, and of course I had to be whatever she needed. So I remained her best friend, despite my own desire for more. The more time she spent with us, the stronger she seemed. It was like all trace of the poison her body had absorbed by dating the leech and spending time with his family was wearing off her. She was becoming the Bella of my youth again, and me and my wolf were ecstatic. I nearly died when she tried that stupid cliff jump. I couldn't believe it when she tried it, but she said she needed closure, and I believed her. In fact I could tell she was ready to open her heart again, when that damn Pixie Cullen showed up spouting on and on about Edward. She had the gaul to state how dangerous we were to Bella's safety. Where did she get off? From what I could tell the only ones who had harmed her were them, and those they associated with. Well next thing I know we are about to finally kiss, and the Pixie demon comes in claiming if they didn't go to rescue her Emo-ass brother, then he was going to kill himself. I begged her not to go. I would never force her choices though. And when she decided to leave me, I could only wish her well. While they pulled away, I could only watch as my heart was crushed yet again. I know what she meant to me, but somethings I just couldn't fight. Love has never protected drug users from getting their fixes. Junkies could not help what they were, and the only things that those left in their paths of destruction could do is still love them, even when they fall. Her and her pusher did return eventually together as if nothing had ever been wrong. I could see in her face that the fog being around them caused clouded her vision once again. I would battle for her. Now, I was at least on an even playing field. But despite it all, they tempted her with prizes and promises I could never hope to match. I did make one more valiant effort to sway her my way, but that ended up with not only the crushing of my heart yet again, but also the whole side of my body. She left me, and told me she loved me, but not as much as him. It would never be more than him. What hope did a clean kid have against a druggy and her lifetime supply of drugs. The final breaking point for me was that damn invitation. I couldn't do it, I just couldn't do it. I could not sit there and watch my soulmate hand her soul to the devil, so that she could join them in their immortal hell. No. No more. I would not be abandoned yet again.

So I ran. I decided that for once, I would leave them all before they had the chance to leave me. I left before she completed her suicide campaign by marrying that monster. I left before Billy ate that last final piece of sugary cake or donut, or drank that last can of beer before he died from Diabetes complications because of his inability to follow his doctor's orders. Perhaps they would kill off two birds with one stone, and it would happen at her wedding eating the Wedding cake, and drinking champagne. I felt bad for even thinking about it, but when had anyone put me before their own selfishness. I was always forced to sacrifice for the greater good. And where others prospered or wasted their lives as how they pleased, I have always been led around on a very tight leash. I was through with it all, because I had nothing left to give. I had nothing left to sacrifice. I traveled the northern region of the US and parts of Canada strictly as a wolf. I soon found if I traveled far enough I eventually could no longer hear the Pack's pleading voices to return. But no, they couldn't let me be by myself. Nope they continued to play games with me. They would send different members of the Pack to get close enough to me for me to hear them, but not so close that I ripped them apart. They would flood my thoughts of a broken hearted Billy, or the pleading calls from Bella. They threw all their bait lines at me hoping I would bite, and come crawling back to uphold my duty. They couldn't just let me mourn my loss. They just couldn't let me be. But I wouldn't take the bait. I didn't keep track of how much time had passed since I left. My days were filled with hunting my meals, and then sleeping to avoid my thoughts. Then one day, I was dreaming. I knew this because I was walking fully dressed in human form. I was on the shores of La Push walking. I noticed in front of me two small children, a little boy and a little girl. They looked so beautiful. As I stared at them closer I noticed them were not quite as dark skinned as myself. The little girl had brown wavy hair, and deep chocolate filled eyes, and when she smiled she had my mother's smile. Then I noticed the little boy, and he was a carbon copy of myself, except for the nose. That seemed to belong to his mother perhaps. All I know is I was filled with such love, especially when they turned to me running and screaming, "Daddy, Daddy!" I bent down and swooped them up laughing and crying at the same time. They had the combined smell of vanilla, strawberry, pine and engine grease. I knew then who the mother must be, and yet she was nowhere to be seen. I scanned the shoreline and saw no one. However, just as I was about to give up, I noticed someone standing on a path down the shore. It was Bella, but for some reason she seemed reluctant to come to us. We all waved at her, and she took steps to join us, but something held her back. It was then that I noticed the other road filled with ice and snow. At first some flashy signs seemed to distract her, but again she ignored them and looked longingly at our family. Then I noticed Edward Cullen appear, but yet again, she took a step in our direction. And just when I thought for sure she was on her way, the Pixie demon appeared once again and grabbed her. I wanted to rush to her and tell her to choose us, to choose this life. Yet, I had made a promise to myself and to her unknowingly, that I would never manipulate her in choosing something against her will. I had always told Bella the truth about everything, as I never wanted her to claim I misled her or tricked her. The only compromise I made to that was about her connection to me, but there again, I did not want her to use that as an excuse someday on why she was trapped with me in a hell of my making so the she abandoned all of her dreams to be with me. I was brought back to the scene in front of me, as Bella began moving towards the other path. They had manipulated her yet again. She looked at me with such sadness and longing as she stepped backwards. It was then that I noticed the scene around me starting to change. First our son disappeared. My eyes searched for our daughter, and I panicked as she too began to fade. They were gone, ripped away yet again. I fell to my knees and cried, sobbing to myself in despair. I turned towards Bella, and she too had tears in her eyes, but soon she walked down the other path, and the opening to her closed shut. I was alone and abandoned yet again. "WHYYYYYY!," I screamed. Even in my dreams I could find no joy, nor solitude. I awoke if a huff, and in human form. I replayed what happen in my dreams, and knew if it was not too late, I needed to talk to Bella.

Unfortunately, I had been farther away than I thought. By time I reached home, so much time had passed. I made it home the day of the wedding, and the ceremony had already started. I showered, threw on a shirt and slacks and made my way to the Cullen's house. Bella was married, and I knew I was too late. Bella had seemed excited to see me, and made Edward leave us alone for a bit. We tried to make small talk, but knew we each had bigger issues we needed to discuss. I was going to make one more attempt to change her mind even revealing my last card in my hand. Too bad I never got to tell her, as she mentioned how they were going to have sex during her honeymoon before she was changed as her last human experience. I went nuts. I knew that leech could never control himself to pull that off, and he would probably kill her instead. Our argument drew the attention of my Pack mates, who dragged me off before I could tell Bella my secret. By time I got back to her, she had been whisked away by the walking Emo leech on their honeymoon. My chance for happiness was gone, and my life was over. I refused to talk anyone further about it. I ignored my father, and my Pack. After they prevented my reunion with Bella. I couldn't stand to be around them anymore. I refused to phase anymore, and I lost my appetite. I sat waiting for the phone call from Charlie, the call that would lay out the pre-planned excuse of Bella's death.

It took a much shorter time than I imagined. Charlie called a few days later, and said that the private jet the Cullen's had chartered had gone down in the Gulf coast. Search planes were already on the look out, but no bodies had yet been discovered, and I knew they never would. I crawled into my bed and shut the outside world out. I knew she wasn't dead yet, I could still feel her emotions even at this distance. I didn't leave the house until her funeral. The day of the funeral, I showered and shaved, and put on a suit. I helped my father get ready in silence. Any attempt of conversation I cut off quickly. We were approached by Sam and his lieutenants outside the chapel. They informed me that they had told the Cullens that now that they had violated the Treaty, they had forgone any claim to settle here. After the funeral, they had to leave within 24 hours or the Pack would destroy them. They were never to return to this area again. I looked at them with my dead eyes, and said, "Who cares. You let them steal my heart, and nothing can be done to recover it." I walked away from them, and sat us next to Charlie. I hugged him and cried over our joint losses. Charlie leaned in, and said, "I always wished it was you kid. She'd be alive today, if she just listened to what I told her about loving what was good for her. I wish it was you." He broke down again, and we hugged for a while until the ceremony was set to begin. You could tell the Cullen's bullied their way to concoct this farce as they tried to glorify their bastard son, and my Bella. Charlie and me would eye-roll whenever one of them got up to speak about the tragic love lost, but knew they were together in heaven for all of eternity. Oh it must have fucking had them rolling in laughter in their heads, when they made these obvious in-jokes in front of Charlie. I'm sure Edward would get a kick out of it too when he hears how much they were all able to deceive this small town of yokels and ignorant Injuns. I glared at them the entire service. Once the show was over, I left my father in the care of the Pack. I walked down to the cliffs, and sat along the edge of the place where my life had begun to became a freaking nightmare. If she never would have jumped, then they wouldn't have come back. Oh who the hell was I kidding. If it wasn't this excuse, it would have been something else. But who knows by then, I might have cemented my place in her heart, and they wouldn't be able to crawl and burrow their way back under her skin. I heard her before I smelt her. "Jake," Leah whispered, "I know how you feel. I know what it's like to loose the one you love to someone you feel is not worthy. I know what it's like to feel abandoned by those you love and hold dear. I get how you are feeling, and I just want you to know, that if you need to talk about it. I'm here." She waited with baited breath for my response. I could of told her to fuck off, and leave me alone. I could of told her she was just a bitter shrew who had no idea what real loss was. However, the girl in front of me was not Leah Clearwater, Pack mate. No, the girl in front on me was Leah Clearwater, the girl I once knew was the only person who could understand what it felt like to be abandoned like me. Leah stood for several minutes, and then sighed and started to walk away. "She was my imprint Lee." Leah gasped, "What? Jacob no. Please no. Why didn't you stop them? How is that possible? When did this happen? And how have you kept it from her, from everyone?" I turned to her teary eyed, and barely replied above a whisper my secret, "It happened from the moment I first phased, when we rescued her from the dreadlock leech. I didn't tell her at first because she didn't need all of this Supernatural crap dumped anymore on her lap. She was already this close to being thrown into an Insane Asylum. She only needed a friend who would love her for who she was, and where she was at in life at that moment. She wasn't looking for a knight in shining armor to sweep her off her feet. She needed someone to keep her together until she was ready. And we were close Lee, so close. But then, shit happens. She jumped from this ledge, the Cullen's swept back into the picture, and I got permanently placed on the bench. Why didn't I tell her? Because I wanted her to choose to be with me. I didn't want her feeling that the only reason we felt anything for each other was because of some wolfy mojo. There has always been a bond between us, even my mom saw it when we were little. She always said I was Bella's little protector." "I remember that from when we were little Jake," Leah smiled, and I returned it, a genuine smile. "She would always say to my mom that you two had a special bond that no one could ever break. I can't believe I forgot that, or buried so deep in my stubborn ass brain of bitterness to ever remember there were better times between us all. I'm sorry if all my shit has caused you more grief then you deserve. Out of all these assholes, you outside of Seth, are the only one who's treated me halfway decently. Thank you," Leah whispered. "You're welcome Lee. I wish I could help you more, but I don't think I could ever phase again. I don't know if I could stand to see her again with those damn Cullen's eyes, or god forbid red eyes. I would die all over again," I stated. Leah paused, then asked, "Do you think she's done it yet? Do you think she's one of them now?" "No. No, I don't. Not sure how I know, but I have always had a unique imprint with Bella. It's not like any of the others. I can feel and sense things with her, and vice versa. I know when she panicking or upset, almost as if we share each other's thoughts. However, I can only sense that she is still human. Now since this has occurred, I don't know how much longer that will last. It will probably be a rough couple of weeks for me Lee, if you could just keep the others away from me. I don't want to answer a thousand questions daily. I just need to be left alone." "I can do that for you Jake. If you need me though, just reach out and I will be there as soon as I can." With that Leah Clearwater left my side to leave me in peace.

Many days had passed, and I was sitting in my usual place of meditation on the edge of the cliff, when I felt an increase in my pulse and a severe panic attack. It felt like someone had shoved a needle in my chest, I could swear I felt a burning sensation. I passed out by the severity of these feelings. I awoke in my bed and was told by Sue that Leah had found me unconscious on the cliff in wolf form. She brought me to see Sue right away. I was sweating as I tried to sit up. They told me I had been passed out for four days already, and that today was the fifth day. I still felt queasy and could sense something happening to me, but I couldn't articulate to anyone else. About midday the feeling stopped, and I knew, I just knew that Bella Swan, my imprint, had died, and was now one of them. I crawled out of bed much to the objections of all around me. I felt dead inside, all that I had loved was gone now. I returned to the cliff's edge and pondered my future. I heard Charlie walk up the cliff, and asked if I minded moving away from the edge. He didn't quite have my stomach for heights I guess. I looked the man who I thought of as a second father in the eyes, and asked, "How can I help you Charlie? I'm afraid I'm not much to look at right now, but if it's something simple, I'll give it my best shot." Charlie cleared his throat and took a seat on a boulder away from the edge, and stared out at the ocean. I joined him. He turned his sad smile at me and said, "I miss her son. I miss what she could've become, and miss her smile everyday. I'd be a hypocrite if I asked you to do something that even I can't do myself. So I'm not here to ask you to get over her death, or to stop mourning her. I'll tell you what I tell other people, 'I'll do it when, I damn well feel like it." I smiled and chuckled with Charlie. "Now son," he continued, "I have a favor to ask, but I'm not sure if we can pull it off. I can't imagine going to that mockery of a tombstone that resides in Forks, to mourn over an empty grave, that that family bought, and to see that name scrawled into the headstone. I can't go there and mourn the loss of my daughter on any tombstone with the name of Cullen on it. I was hoping for as much as she and I both loved it here, that we can somehow convince your dad to maybe allow us to place a grave here on Quileute land. I know the kick up this may cause, but I would prefer to come here and mourn Bella Swan the girl we remember from before those Cullens ever got their clutches into her. I was going to run it by Billy, and then hope with your input we can convince him to allow a couple of pale faces to screw up the landscape of your cemetery. What do you think?" I laughed my first genuine laugh in quite awhile, and said, "I think I may have the leverage we need to get it done Charlie. Let me talk to him first, and then you can come in and seal the deal. How's that sound Charlie?" Charlie smiled, "I think you got a deal their son. Just let me know when you want me back here." We departed at the bottom of the cliff. Charlie had offered to give me a ride home, but I just shrugged and stated I was good. I reached my home and walked in. My father was sitting watching TV. I sat down quietly next to him, and could see the apprehension in his face. I turned to him and spoke the first words that I have in quite a while, "She was my everything. She was the air that I breathed. She was the love of my life. You all think I was just a foolish little boy. You all think I followed her around like a little puppy looking for scraps. You all think that this was some foolish little crush I had, but none of you knew what I kept from you. None of you knew she was my imprint." My father turned to me and was about to speak. I cut him off, "What are you going to say? That if you knew you would of done something different. That you and the Pack would of fought harder for her. Well I didn't need your approval or your support. She was the daughter of your best friend. The man who was like a brother to you. The man who kept our family together as you fell apart. And you rewarded him how? By keeping the danger his only daughter was in a secret. By tying my hands constantly with rules of this tribe. You should of protected her because she was a human being in danger. She was not just another part of the collateral damage between the war between our kind and theirs. When will you all understand that what happens on the outskirts of our borders directly impacts the lives on this reservation? You know what I really don't care. But what I do care about is this. The man you claim is your best friend is going to come to you today to ask for the permission to purchase two sets of plots in our cemetery. You are going to the counsel now and get the permission to grant this request. I don't care what prejudices they may have about what she maybe right now, you will allow, my imprint and her father to be buried on our lands. I won't asked again about this. And if I have to, I will go down there myself, and bite a chunk out of each of their asses." I got up and left the house. I was tired of this life. At the young age of 16, I felt like an old man of 80. I longed to leave this world. I longed to find rest. After clearing up some red tape, I now sat next to Charlie, my dad, the Clearwater's, Embry and Quil. I was not interested in who else showed up. By now the word was out that Bella Swan was my imprint. No one knew what to say to me, and I didn't have the energy to care. Charlie thanked me for my help, and I of course waved him off. This became my new place of visiting daily. I spent half my day here, and the other half on the cliff. I eventually had to be placed on anxiety pills, and other medications. I could not get over these new sensations happening to my body daily. It felt like I was constantly surrounded and trapped. I would get these strange anxiety attacks almost everyday, that the levels and intensity seemed to reset every couple of weeks. I don't know if I could survive the next 10, 20 or even 30 more years living this way, and truthfully I hoped I wouldn't have to. I was tired, I just couldn't imagine how much longer I would suffer with these feelings. I contemplated killing myself, but didn't know if it was possible. I only knew that for now I felt abandoned and alone in my grief.

Abandoned and alone.


	4. Chapter 4: Can't Let Go

Disclaimer - All Characters and Copyrights belong to Stephanie Meyers.

Author's note: Sorry for delay in updating my stories. Even though this one got pretty lousy feedback, I still like it. So I will wrap it up eventually. Hope you enjoy. I am getting around to all my stories, so stay tuned, and be patient.

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Chapter 4: Can't let go

**_EPOV_**

I can't let go.

I've been told to give it up. Or more devastating, to give her up. The hell my family has gone through over the years had finally torn us apart. We could no longer deal with the frustrations that came with Bella's condition. There was enough blame to pass around on how badly we had handled Bella, and her human life. We had selfishly all laid claims to parts of her soul. Each of us grabbing apart of her to soothe some missing part of our own lives. Ever since she first walked into our lives, she was like a breath of fresh air to our stale existence. Her presence into our lives had awoken a sensation of humanity in each of my family members. A daughter, a sister, a missing love, were but a few minor roles she helped filled. It didn't matter how we obtained her. We wanted, no needed her, to break up our mundane lives with her essence.

However, she was not supposed to be ours to have. I had stolen her humanity, and manipulated Alice's vision to cement my actions. She captivated me the moment I first saw her, but at the same time, more importantly I didn't hear her mind. I wasn't flooded with the normal selfish and depraved minds of a typical human. She was a refreshing blank slate, whose mind soothed my soul. She radiated a beauty that all who knew who her could see, even if she couldn't. Her beauty was not just on the outside, but an inner perfection as well. Yes, she entrapped me in her web, the first moment I first caught whiff of her natural fragrance in the air. She could never comprehend how her beauty outshined all others, and in that, she could not understand how alluring she actually was. Bella was all I could hope for in my mate, and I had her, until I foolishly walked away, and opened the door for those beasts to ensnare her with that imprint black magic. I was forced to put her under my thrall to level the playing field with that dog. I would not loose what was mine, to watch it waste away tied to that place. I wrongly thought that once I got her away from there, that we would live forever in eternal love.

Emmett and Rose were the first to leave. They begged for the family's understanding. Rose could not fake the hatred she had for Alice and myself for forcing the family into our situation by not letting Bella live her life as a human. Even Emmett could not overcome the ventral guilt he felt for his role in Bella's current torment. He felt if he would have just backed up his mate, instead of his fulfilling his own selfish need for the joy that Bella's high jinxes caused, then perhaps we could have avoided all this chaos. They left to refresh their batteries by traveling for a bit, 20 years so far. The good news was they were due back soon.

Carlisle and Esme left for a while as well. They went to try and search for possible answers for our plight. They could no longer sit by helplessly as Bella repeatedly kept resetting. It pained them more and more each time to know, that they were complicit, in not stopping the situation before it progressed as badly as it has. Their son was in pain. Their daughter was in anguish, crying to return to a life she no longer had or could be a part of, even if she could get back to it. Carlisle a healer by nature felt as if he had betrayed that which he always thought to preserve, life itself.

Alice and Jasper has to leave periodically to escape the depression in the house. They too were helpless to change anything that was happening around them. Alice stayed around Bella the most next to myself. Whether it was for love or guilt, was hard to say. Her mind flipped back and forth between the two emotions constantly. It killed Alice to be so blind to Bella now. Alice did not know what was causing it. Was it Bella's shields? Or was there something else blocking her future path? We could not guess. Even Jasper was unable to affect her anymore. And of course being an Empath, the growing melancholy in our home affected not only his own guilt and depression, but was amplified by absorbing the entire family's emotions as well. He still felt responsible for being the original cause of us leaving Bella all those years ago when he attacked her at her 18th birthday party in our home in Forks. I so wanted to ensure him that he was wrong, but I would be lying if I didn't feel at times that was when things started falling apart in mine and Bella's love.

I was delighted when Emmett and Rose finally returned back to the house. There was still some tension between us, but I welcomed the distraction in the home. Bella appeared to be having one of her better periods between episodes of reset. She was very cooperative this time around. I hoped having Emmett's childish attitude would break things up around the homestead. We were currently staying near our Denali cousins in Alaska.

It had taken much to convince myself to go hunt, as I was always reluctant to leave Bella's side. But the family had ensured me that all would be alright while I was gone. It was after all, not their first time dealing with "reset" Bella, and it most certainly would not be their last. I was actually happy to miss this part of her turmoil. She had just finished feeding, and would soon wake up with no memory of us, of me. It was the hardest part of this ordeal. To sit there and watch as she screamed for him, "her Jacob." As she only grieved over her loss for that mutt. Never once did she ever appear remorseful over the loss of her memories of our love together. I sighed, what I wouldn't give to change that day I left her in the woods, and opened the door in her heart for that beast.

We had tried to keep tabs on the whereabouts of Black when this whole thing had started with Bella's transformation. However, that quickly became an afterthought as we dealt with my wife's condition. The family had tried to keep track of Charlie. They knew he remarried someone from the Reservation, but could gleam very little information once he retired from the Fork's Police Department. They certainly couldn't visit the reservation to see first hand, and only minimal information was released from the tribe. Although, there was a blurb of his obituary when Charlie passed. Other than that, little else was known about their once home, and now forbidden land.

I was slowly returning to the house when the chaos first assaulted my mind.

"He's going to kill us," Emmett's mind screamed. "I know he'll blame me. I can't believe this happened. How did she get out?"

"Damn it," Rosalie thought. "Why now? We couldn't be in the door more than five minutes before another shit storm erupted."

I could tell Alice was trying to get a read on something. I could also sense that Jasper was using his power to keep everyone calm. I tried to figure out what was happening, when it finally clicked. BELLA! I quickly increased my pace and soon came running into the living room. I grabbed and then slammed Emmett into the nearest wall.

"What happened? What did you do Emmett?" I was seething.

Emmett held up his hands, "I knew you would blame me. I didn't do anything. I just noticed that I couldn't hear anything coming from her room after a normal reset. And found it empty. I then called the others right away, and we have been searching since."

Edward let go of his brother, and took a step back. "My apologies. Your mind kept screaming about being guilty about something, that I just assumed."

"No problem," Emmett shrugged. "However, she is missing and we don't know how. When I noticed no sounds coming from her room we went in. We found that she had dumped the cup into the bathroom sink, and then faked going into reset mode. We looked around the room and only noticed a few things missing. We fanned out searching for her, but can find to visible traces. It's summertime now, therefore there are no normal tracks we can detect on the ground. Nor is there any scent in the immediate area. She's just gone."

"This doesn't make sense," I exclaimed. She didn't display any of her normal patterns when she woke from the last reset. We all thought it was weird that nothing tracked like any of her other times." I slowly walked into her room taking a look around. We had become accustomed to giving her space whenever she reset, it led to less confrontational run ins, if we gave her time to adjust to waking up. Everyone who was here joined me and slowly looked around for any signs of how she got out. Alice gasped as she entered a vision. I soon focused in on her thoughts and soon saw me about to discover something under her bed. Before I could reach it, Alice quickly snatched it before I could. I glared at my sister.

She shrugged her shoulders and laughed her tinkling snicker. "What, my vision. My reward," Alice gloated. She opened up the paper and quickly scanned the contents before she looked up shocked, and stated, "Well I didn't see this one coming." She handed me the paper and floated back to Jasper's side.

"Well, what does it say," Rose inquired.

I looked over the note and read it over. "How did this get passed us? How did we miss this?, I asked.

"WHAT!," Rose, Emmett and Jasper now shouted.

I handed Rose the note and she smirked when she read it. She then passed the note to Emmett, who looked confused as he finished. Finally, Jasper was handed the note, and he looked impressed as he read it. I could hear Alice calling Carlisle and Esme to inform them of the situation as well. I heard them promise Alice that they would be on the next flight back to help search. I could see a look of defeat and sympathy in her eyes as she connected with me after the call. I could only look for a minute before the note was handed back to me and I reread it again.

_Bella,_

_I don't know if this note will find you or not when you wake up from your nap. DO NOT MAKE ANY SOUND! When you awake you will be confused and disoriented. You will only have one thought on your mind, and that will be to get back to Jacob. However, at this time that is not possible. This maybe difficult to believe, but hopefully seeing it in your own handwriting will make it more believable. _

_You are a Vampire (Vegetarian of course). You were transformed many years ago by an Edward Cullen, your husband. Something went wrong with the transformation, and you wake with an amnesia of sorts. Every time you consume blood, your body goes into a reset mode, and you forget everything that has occurred between episodes. There are journals that will describe this in greater detail. For now, I need you to focus. You are constantly under surveillance by your family. I truly believe they care for you, however, from my own experience, it is not where your heart yearns for. _

_Do not let on that you know about your current condition, and you may be required to do some fine acting. I have been working on an escape plan during my time at this latest location, and pray that you wake up where I last left off. Greater details can be found in our journals. Now, I wish you good luck in getting back to our Jacob. When you have finished reading this note, hide it, and then begin the show of acting like you just woke up. Good luck._

_All my Best,_

_Bella_

We were all shocked that she had been putting on a show for us. How she managed to hide all this was beyond my comprehension. However, I knew I could not just sit there waiting for the rest of my family to arrive. We decided to split up and go different directions. Carlisle and Esme would meet up with us in a few days in Chicago. We would all be going to places we had stayed before during our times in the US with Bella. We didn't think she would attempt to leave the country, not yet at least. I suspected she was making her way back to LaPush, back to him. Once she finds he is gone, I have no idea where or what she would do then. I always knew, as did the others, that she contemplated suicide. Which is one of the reasons we still kept a watchful eye of her. I knew I had to be the one to trace my way back there. Back to where my life truly began with the love of my life, and yet the same place where my prison sentence started as well. My family begged me to look elsewhere, but being stubborn as I was, I would not listen.

I drove in deep thought back to this hole in the wall town. We had deemed it safe for only one of us to enter the area. Hopefully the wolf gene had gone dormant once again. We had spread word to avoid this corner of the US, as it was not safe for any nomad or our kind in general. Aro had backed up our claim as well once he learned about the shape shifters. As long as they did not venture outside their area, and were no threat to the greater Vampire nation, he was content to let them live as was. No need to draw unneeded attention by wiping out a complete tribe and town. I could only hope that my quick presence in the area while I searched would not cause any ruckus. I knew that the previous Treaty we held was void since we changed Bella, so anything I did now was a risk.

I could feel my nerves increase once I crossed the old treaty line. It was hard to believe that the old boogeymen I used to fear, no longer held any meaning to me. Without Bella my life was meaningless anyway, at least with her, I held some comfort of the chance we could get passed the divide her condition caused. After all, eternity was a long time to work on the unresolved. I opened my windows to see if I could smell either my wife, or signs of the Pack. Unfortunately, I could detect no trace of either. I scanned the minds of everyone I drove past, looking for any glimpse of having seen Bella, or a Vampire for that matter. I found every thought devoid of those topics. Their minds all focused on an upcoming festival to welcome the new chief of the tribe. I growled when I heard the name Black in their minds.

I soon found myself pulling outside a little red house, his house. I slowly got out of the car, continuously scanning for wife or hound. My guess was that the Blacks of old were all gone by now, but who could know for sure if the Pack had stopped phasing or even when they did. There may still be members alive today on he hunt for leeches. I decided to proceed with caution during this recon mission to find Bella, my love. I stepped onto the porch, and was about to knock on door, when it was pulled open from inside. Their stood a young man in his late teens.

He twitched his noise slightly, and then spoke, "Can I help you?"

I quickly shifted my mood to become less threatening. "My apologies, I was looking for Jacob Black. Is he in by chance?"

"Um, I'm sorry Jacob passed away many years ago. Actually, there hasn't been a Black on the Reservation for many years. My name is William Lahote. My great-great-great grandma was Rachel Black, Jacob's sister."

"Oh, my apologies. I could of sworn that I heard the new chief was named Black," I stated.

"Right, about that. Actually, it's an offspring of Jacob's that recently returned home. Jacob had left many years ago when he became depressed about a former love. He had just lost his father, and didn't have the heart to lead the tribe. So my family took over for a while, but my cousin, who is Jacob's grandson in lineage, decided to come home. Wait one second I'll call him for you," William stated.

It was odd. I had not detected any other minds or odors in the area before he called out to his relative. How could this be possible?

"Ephraim! Ephraim! Someone is here to talk to you," William called.

"Ok, thanks. Coming right now," the voice stated.

However, I would recognize that voice from anywhere. How was he still alive? What game was he playing?

"Hi, can I help you?, Black asked.

I could've reached across the room and choked him. As I was about to, I noticed his voice and eyes held no anger or animosity in them. His mind was completely empty of any thoughts either negative or positive. He did not reek of mutt. In his expression, I only saw confusion with no signs of recognition. I was shook from my revelation by his voice again.

"Sir, my cousin said you needed to see me."

I stared at the spitting image of my once greatest adversary. However, no other trace of Jacob could I find in this person's mind. "Oh, my apologies. I'm afraid I was led to believe you were someone else. My name is Edward Mason. My wife grew up around these parts. Unfortunately, her mental state these last few years have not been doing so well. She recently departed the skilled facility she was staying in while seeking treatment, and we are trying to locate her. Since, she spoke so highly of her time here, we thought that perhaps she might have been seen here. She talked about her friendship with a Jacob Black, and thought she may have reached out your family," I stated.

"I am so sorry to hear about your family's situation. Such a tragedy to happen to someone so young as yourself. Do you have a picture of your wife? I would be happy to have our tribal police force look for her to see if she does show up around here," Ephraim stated.

"Thank you for your kindness. Here is a picture of my wife as well as my contact number. I would appreciate any help you could give me," I stated reluctantly as I handed over the picture. I couldn't believe that once again I would need to ask for the help of a Black to take care of Bella. I started to walk back to the car, when I thought I heard him say something before he closed his front door.

I could of sworn I heard, "Of course I would be happy to help. After all, that's what I always do. You know, "For keeping Bella alive," Ephraim clarified, his voice rough and fervent. "When you... didn't."

I quickly turned around in shock when I comprehended what he said. How did he know about that? Jacob? I all but whispered in denial. I could not delay my departure any further as cars from the village began to pull up. As I pulled away, I could not get that turn of phrase he used on me. The same thing I had said to him in the woods after we had returned from Italy.

My anger began to boil as I pulled away. I don't know what game was being played, but I won't let go of my love.

NO!

I can't let go.


End file.
